oninohime

HAI DOGEZA!!!

(via raltz)

(via zeppelly)

beam-me-up-broadway:

I love watching him swear at adults and then turn around and be this adorable to kids.

(via pentharis)

  • favorite artist: omg this picture so sucks, I'm on hiatus
  • favorite fanfiction author: sorry late chapter, I'm on hiatus
  • Me: i suck, my life is on hiatus

fuckingrecipes:

LET ME TELL YOU GORGEOUS FOLK ABOUT MIRZA GHASEMI. IT’S A DIP MADE WITH EGGPLANTS AND TOMATOES, BOTH MEMBERS OF THE NIGHTSHADE FAMILY.

FIRST, CUT TWO EGGPLANTS IN HALF AND STAB ALL OVER WITH A FORK LIKE THE HONOR OF YOUR FAMILY DEPENDS ON IT. THEN PLACE THE NOW WOUNDED EGGPLANT ONTO A BAKING SHEET OR OTHER PAN AND ROAST IN A 400 DEGREE OVEN UNTIL THE SKIN DISCOLORS AND BLISTERS AND THE FLESH GROWS SOFT LIKE YOUR ENEMIES UNDER YOUR WITHERING STARE.

MEANWHILE, SLICE AN ONION OR TWO THINLY AND CARAMELIZE IN A PAN OVER MEDIUM HEAT WITH OLIVE OIL, STIRRING EVERY FEW MINUTES. THIS WILL TAKE A WHILE, BUT YOU CAN USE THE TIME TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON HOW TO SHAKE HANDS OR SOME OTHER IMPRESSIVE TRICK.

WHEN THE ONIONS ARE BROWN AND TURNING CRISPY, THROW IN FIVE CLOVES OF GARLIC YOU HAVE CRUSHED IN YOUR MIGHTY FIST. YES, FIVE CLOVES. YOU CAN HANDLE IT. STIR UNTIL THE DELICIOUS SMELL OF ALIUMS (ANOTHER TAXONOMIC FAMILY) FILLS THE ROOM.

ADD THREE MEDIUM TOMATOES, DICED INTO FINE PIECES, TO THE PAN. IF YOU HAVE THE TIME, BLANCH OR JUST PLAIN SKIN THE TOMATOES SO YOU ARE LEFT WITH ONLY THE SOFT FLESH. IF YOU ARE TOO BUSY CONQUERING NATIONS, LEAVE THE SKINS ON.

BY NOW YOUR EGGPLANT SHOULD BE SOFT. SCOOP OUT THE FLESH AND ADD IT TO THE REST OF THE INGREDIENTS. SEASON WITH SALT, PEPPER, TURMERIC, AND A LITTLE BIT OF CINNAMON. ADD THESE SPICES TO TASTE, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO TIME FOR MEASURING SPOONS.

YOU CAN EAT MIRZA WITH PITA BREAD OR SLICES CUCUMBER, IF PROCESSING GLUTEN IS TOO PLEBEIAN FOR YOUR REGAL DIGESTIVE SYSTEM. YOU CAN ALSO SERVE OVER RICE FOR A VEGETARIAN MEAL, OR WITH CHICKEN IF YOU CRAVE FLESH.

  1. If you like someone, wait.
  2. Give lots of compliments, even if you’re shy. Everyone else is too.
  3. Change. Get a haircut, try new perfume, get new sheets. Become better than you were before.
  4. Eat healthier. Learn to cook something fancy.
  5. Get up earlier and watch the sun come up.
  6. Wear soft clothes, take a bath, drink something warm.
  7. Meet someone new, even just a friend.
  8. Become closer with your friends and your family. Call your mother. Cry with your best friend. Tell everyone how much you appreciate them.
  9. Keep your room clean. Buy some candles. Let the natural light in.
  10. Make a list of reasons why you’ll be better off without them. Believe they are true, because they are.
  11. Listen to new music.
  12. Write everything you’re thinking and feeling. Write letters. Write happy letters, sad letters, and angry letters, even if you’re never going to send them.
  13. It’s okay to be sad, but not forever. Sadness is not as beautiful as music makes it seem. Lack of sleep makes your eyes droopy, not deep. Wake up every morning and tell yourself you’re going to have a good day.
  14. Go to the library. Don’t forget to look in the music section.
  15. Remove them from your life. Get rid of the things they gave you if they make you sad. They’re not worth it. You will never be happy if you continue to hold on to the things that make you sad.
  16. Make new memories.
  17. Try to find something to appreciate in everything you do or experience.
  18. Being alone is okay, you don’t have to surround yourself with people.
  19. Become your own best friend. Buy yourself coffee and drink it alone in a cafe. Take your time.
  20. Learn to love every bit of yourself.
How to feel better and become better by me (via timidgeek)

(via tanagers)

youaremynirvana:

ok none of that bullshit stuff

THESE are the best feelings in the world:

  • peeing after holding it in all day
  • orgasms
  • faking ill and getting sent back to bed 
  • when you sing really emotionally and give yourself shivers b/c you’re fucking star quality
  • getting a back massage
  • seeing somebody you don’t like fall over omfg 
  • when you try and talk to your pet in their language and you feel like you’re having a conversation

(via you-cant-stop-the-moriparty)

28,917 plays
Benedict cumberbatch

benedict-cumberbatch-voice:

ben-addiction i saw your comment and you’re absolutely right!

(via you-cant-stop-the-moriparty)

okaysobasically:

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS GIFSET FOR SO LONG

(via otterlybesotted)

r0llcake:

u (◠‿◠✿)

did not (◠‿◠✿)

teach us this (◠‿◠✿)

why is it (◠‿◠✿)

on the test (◠‿◠✿)

BITCH (⊙‿⊙✿)

(via themysteriousgorillaofhogwarts)

shyest-ink:

can i be your cigarette

so you can pull me out
of a black dark box

so you can light me up
when i’m cold

so you can keep me on
your lips

so you can inhale me
even though you know
how toxic i am

but you don’t really care
cause you love that feeling
in your lungs

(via justanotheririshblogger)

zustin:

when boys take their shirts off from the back and lift it over their heads

(via pemsylvania)